What Supporting My Sister Through Birth and The First Weeks of Motherhood Has Taught Me (so far!)
The past two months of supporting my sister through the birth of her child and the early postpartum period have been amazing. Witnessing her navigate the ups and downs of new motherhood has reinforced so many of the principles I hold close to my heart, both related to lactation support and occupational therapy. Here are three key lessons that have stood out to me:
The Power of Hand Expression
Before my sister gave birth, I knew educating clients on hand expression was important, of course I have utilized this technique as well. However, seeing her embrace it so fully made it clear why this is such a powerful skill. Not only can she quickly express an ounce of milk when needed, but she now prefers this method over using a pump or a milk catcher. The autonomy and confidence she has gained in managing her own body is empowering. Need a little extra milk? Hand express. Feeling slightly engorged? Hand express. Plus, as she likes to remind me—there’s no any extra crap with this method.
And beyond convenience, perhaps even more powerful, is the sense of control, assuredness, and familiarity she has when connecting with her own breasts and body.
The Power of a Calm Baby (and a Calm Mom)
As my sister’s baby transitioned out of the sleepy newborn phase and became more alert (and sometimes fussy), we realized how crucial it was to regulate him before attempting to feed. When he was too hungry and upset, he would cry and struggle to coordinate his suck-swallow-breathe pattern, leading to frustration for both of them. The stress would begin to overflow, affecting both positioning and the their entire experience. Instead, if she gave him her finger or a pacifier to suck on while getting into position, he was much calmer and able to latch on smoothly. And reminding my sister’s partner to remind my sister: to relax her shoulders, take a deep breath, lean back in her chair. . . It’s like the stress was hard to see up close but once combatted with reminders, it fell away and all that was left was a peaceful breastfeeding session.
A great reminder that a pacifier - or a parent’s clean finger! - can be a helpful tool to calm the baby! (And there’s no reason to feel guilty about it!)
The Importance of Self-Efficacy
In my work as an OT, I’ve seen how self-efficacy—the belief in one's ability to manage challenges—is a critical factor in achieving goals, whether in chronic disease management, cancer care, or new motherhood. Supporting my sister through this intense learning curve has only reinforced my belief in its power.
New parenthood is a whirlwind, with overwhelming advice from the internet, marketing tactics playing on vulnerabilities, and an endless stream of “shoulds.” I want my sister—and all new parents—to feel confident in their ability to feed their babies, troubleshoot issues, and make informed decisions. Whether it's determining when breastfeeding is going well, when supplementation might be needed, or when to ask the pediatrician an important question, self-efficacy is key.
These past weeks have deepened my appreciation for the resilience of new parents and the beauty of finding confidence in their own instincts. My hope is that every new parent can experience this same empowerment.